St. Patrick’s Day

Posted in Uncategorized on March 17, 2010 by moegreeb

8 years ago today I was playing at a pub in Windsor, On called Patrick O’ Ryans. It was a busy day for me. I had 3 gigs that day. From 11 – 3 I was playing at a bar called Rock Bottom’s for their festivities, from 4 – 8 I was at Patrick O’ Ryans playing their stage upstairs, and from 8 – 2 I was playing downstairs on the main floor.

St. Patrick’s Day is always a bit of a wild day when you’re a musician. Especially if you mostly play Celtic music…like I do. The bar is filled to capacity at any given moment with loud uproariously drunk people and they all want to hear the same few songs over and over and over and over again.

It wasn’t my first time playing St. Patty’s Day but this was a memorable one for me. This was the day I officially released my CD. I had recorded it and had done a very small run of discs. There were maybe a couple of hundred in total. I went to the bar with my gear and with a box filled with my music. I sang and I sold.

I remember the high I was feeling that day. Usually I had looked at St Patty’s Day with a small bit of trepidition. The day is long and when you’re on stage that many hours singing your lungs out…it can do a number on your body and leave you totally drained. On top of that add the number of people drinking as if prohibition is going to be announced any moment…it can be exhausting. You can’t predict the crowd. Sometimes they will be with you and sometimes they will turn on you in an instant. They were with me that day.

I sold close to a hundred copies of my CD that day. I felt exhilarated.  People were practically throwing their money at me to buy it. I could barely believe it. The CD had been a bit expensive to make. Studio time, CD printing…those costs added up…I made my money back on that first day.

After that…I never really thought about it. I sold some copies here and there around Detroit and Windsor but I never really thought about promotion. St. Patty’s Day had been the big day of moving. Finally my copies were gone and I never really saw the point of making another pressing. I figured that my sales were fairly limited to the Detroit area. I never imagined the effect that the internet would have on music.

So…8 years later I find myself on Twitter. Soon enough I have about 1000 people following me and a lot of them are aware that I am a musician (if only mostly in my head now). People had heard some of my music that I had posted and there was a bit of interest. I started thinking about that CD again. Wondering how I could go about distributing it again.

A little bit of research led me to an online distributor. A company that specializes in getting music out to all of the online music stores. iTunes, Amazon, Napster, Limewire…all of these stores and more they distribute to. I suddenly realized that the internet was one of the best things that could have happened to a small time musician like myself. These companies handle getting my music out. Online social networks like Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook…these sites will be my promotion.

So I did it. I signed on with a distributor…I promoted the hell out of my album almost exclusively using Twitter. Now an album, that 8 yrs ago I thought would never leave Detroit, has sold all over the world. I’ve moved copies in Australia, Germany, Ireland, all over the USA…and they are still selling. All of this has lit a fire under my ass to record another album and I hope to have that done and out in a few months.

The Internet has completely changed how the small musician can hit a broader audience. I hope more of us can make use of this…it’s a changing world.

BTW…all of this has just been leading up to a plug for my album. Chris Angel – Celtic Stepson.

The Other Super Heroes

Posted in Uncategorized on March 15, 2010 by moegreeb

As I was driving the other day I found myself wondering about Super Heroes. Whenever we read about these fictional parallel universes where super-powered meta-humans exist and roam our planet we always hear about the same basic power sets. This guy can throw a train. She is able to fly. This guy is so fast he can run across water. This girl can bend light around herself. Everything is very epic. Where are the less stellar powers? Where are the guys making do with the “Ok…so it’s not laser out my eyes but I can still be effective” powers?

I submit to you a few superheroes (or villains) that are not the super person archetypes yet still could be surprisingly effective.

Captain Brainfart Ever walk into a room only to forget why you went there in the first place? Ever been mid-conversation with some and forgotten what it was you were saying in the middle of a sentence? Of course you have. Everyone has.
Imagine if someone had the power to inflict this upon you at will. How many crimes could be stopped by that moment of hesitation when the robbers try to remember what they were stealing or where the escape doors are? How many Super Villains could be thwarted by stumbling over half forgotten monologues? Probably best if hew works alone though.

The Hiccup Inflictor I hate having hiccups. So do you. Do you know why? Because they are fucking annoying. It doesn’t sound like too fatal a power but what would happen if someone pointed a finger at you and you started hiccupping…AND THEN COULDN’T STOP!?!
Your life would be a living hell. You would be asked to leave movie theatres. You would slightly annoy everyone you came into contact with. You would be forever urinating due to the massive amounts of water you would consume to try and get rid of said hiccups. You wouldn’t ever be well rested. How the hell do you sleep when you keep hiccupping? This is a guy you would not want to piss off. Also a guy who can easily make life-long enemies.

Cheesie Dust Finger Man Covered in a fine layer of cheesie dust…Cheesie Dust Finger Man is the bane of white collar criminals everywhere. Not only does he stain everything he comes into contact with with those tell-tale orange smudges but he also leaves his foes with sticky messy fingers leaving them unable to touch anything until they can get cleaned up. Since, as we know, many Super Villains are afflicted with OCD and prefer to live in sterile looking lairs and bases…this guy will seriously get all up in their faces.

Awkward Erection Man Ok, so this superhero only really afflicts 49% of the population but if we look at the portrayal of most Super Villains in comic literature we will see that it is mostly males that are the big baddies. I don’t know about you but if I’m trying to hide a happy penis I’m more inclined to jsut stay sitting then to walk to the console and throw the doomsday switch. It is all about appearances.

The Toe Cramper Yeah the name pretty much sums it up. He cramps your toes. It doesn’t sound like much really. How bad can it be? Let me ask you…have you ever tried to make a hasty retreat with a cramped toe? It is freakin annoying. You aren’t getting far.
Notable mentions:
The Baconator (make people keep smelling ham)
The Second Guesser
Mr Left for Right and Right for Left (makes people confuse left and right)
Fecal Man (take a wild guess)

My Ass Shall Be Victorious

Posted in Uncategorized on March 2, 2010 by moegreeb

On occasion I get the opportunity to work from home. This is fortuitous because my commute from work is quite deadly. Every chance that I get to work from home…you better believe I’m going to jump on that bad boy.

My Daily Commute

Last week I worked two days from home in a row. This was awesome…not only did I not have to make the arduous journey as I was pursued by Ring-Wraiths but I got to spend two whole days not wearing pants. Kick-ass. Friday I returned to work once more, a spring in my step and a smile on my face (though chafing slightly under the already oppressive pants in my leg-al regions. The smile on my face couldn’t have been wiped away faster if I was at a Carrot Top show. My chair was gone. My comfy computer chair that had lovingly been caressing my ass like a warm and gentle hand for 3 years was taken away and was replaced with a monstrosity. Sure the chair might have looked pleasant enough on the outside but beneath that blue fabric lay the soul of an ass numbing demon.

In Hindsight I Should Have Suspected The Chair Was Evil Right Away

Nothing is right. I can’t get it to the proper height. The hydraulics are so sensitive that I pulled the lever to adjust the back angle and the whole thing folded forward rocketing my face off of my keyboard. Two of the levers appear to do nothing and there is a fourth handle, that when pulled, causes the chair to spin 284 degrees counter-clockwise and then shift one foot to the left.
I spent a few hours battling it into submission and thought I had won. This chair is a sneaky bastard though. It lets you think that you’ve won. It lulls you into a false sense of security and makes you think that everything is comfy and you have sunk into body cushioning heaven. Then it strikes again. After about ten minutes of this comfort your spine starts realigning itself into new and interesting patterns. Interesting…but painful. I tried to ignore the increasingly distressful signals that were being sent from my central nervous system but after about the 20 minute mark my right leg was kicking by itself and and I lost all feeling in my face.
The road before me has been set. The battlelines have been drawn. My dear blue worn companion of the last few years had been ripped away from me and I hadn’t even a chance to say good bye to or leave one final smeared cheese dust hand print on it. There will be no prisoners taken in this fight. I will not let this piece of furniture defeat me. My ass shall be victorious.

My CD is out in iTunes!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 21, 2010 by moegreeb

Well…I’ve been waiting for it for awhile and now here it is. My CD is finally out on iTunes. This has taken awhile to do but it got there in the end. When I say awhile I mean it. I recorded the CD in 2002 and only printed up about 100 copies and sold them at gigs.

Recently I decided to be proactive though. I am in the process of recording a new CD (slowly) and have decided to dust off the original recording and get my ass in gear. So here it is…the fruits of my labour:

Here is the link that will take you directly to the CD in iTunes: Chris Angel – Celtic Stepson

I Went Running Today

Posted in Uncategorized on February 7, 2010 by moegreeb

So, my plan right now is to get myself in shape for a marthon. The date of the marathon is on May 30th and that day just keeps getting closer and closer. It has started lurking in fact and an ominous feeling is starting to seep into the surrounding months. For this reason I’ve started avoiding my calendar altogether. I’m actually thinking that it might be time to just take it down off the wall and store it in the freezer for awhile.

42 km. 26 miles. Do you know how far that is!?! To properly get an idea of this picture a kilometer. Then multiply it by forty fucking two. That should give you a better idea of the distance involved. I am officially intimidated. If I were wearing boots I would officially be quaking in them. Right now I’m quaking in my Homer “Mr. Plow” Simpson slippers. It really is same thing in general but doesn’t quite sound the same. It is an unimportant detail and we should really move on actually.

The thing is…I’ve set this up as a goal for myself. In order to prepare I run. I’m trying to run a lot. At least twice a week I jump on the treadmill and try and do a few miles and then on Sunday, Mark and I go do a bigger run. Today it was -10 degrees outside (14F for my American friends). This is not an ideal temperature for me. It is well below my ideal temperature in fact. Despite this, I put on 2 pairs of running pants, 3 long sleeved running shirts, a togue, gloves, a neck/face warmer, and my running shoes and went out to run 10km. I almost died I think…and that is only a quarter of what I need to do.

I need to be fit all around though. On days when I don’t run I try and hit weights…even if it is only for 15 minutes. A few days ago I spent about an hour on squats, jump lunges, pushups, chinups and other assorted tortures. My entire body hurt for two days after that. My ficken ass hurt for fuck’s sake. What the hell is up with that? There is an upside to this though: I’m an in the greatest shape of my life. My body is generally exhausted yet at the same time I feel invigorated and really damned good about myself.

I still have a few months to get there. A few more months of slogging through the miles while attempting not to throw up. It may take hours to do. I might end up dead last out of everyone that is running but I’m going to finish that damned marathon. 42Kms. May 30th. Still is kind of intimidating though…I really do hope I don’t throw up that day. Or poop myself.

Go To Hell CBS

Posted in Uncategorized on January 29, 2010 by moegreeb

So…CBS prefers that a woman not have control over her own body and that two gay men shouldn’t find happiness. At least that is the message they are sending out, right?

CBS has allowed an ad to be during the Superbowl which, more or less, denounces abortion and pushes forth a Pro-Life agenda. Ok. Fair enough. I’m very Pro-Choice myself and I feel that as a guy I don’t really have any rational way of claiming that I should have any say in what a woman chooses to do with her own body. It just isn’t my place. CBS is just trying to make some money and Pro-Life campaigns are willing to pay for the air time. I can’t argue that. It’s business. I don’t agree with the campaign one bit. I don’t want that to be a confusing point…I can just understand that as a business they will gladly take the money being spent by the Christian group ‘Focus on the Family’ to run it.

My problem comes with the refusal to run an ad. CBS doesn’t seem to mind offending half the North American population with their Pro-Life ad all in the name of commerce but they draw the line at depicting two men kissing on screen. That apparently crosses their line. Now, in all fairness, the ad submitted by ManCrunch (the gay dating agency) is currently under review but CBS has already shown their hesitation. When first submitted, CBS informed ManCrunch that all SuperBowl ad slots were full and there was no room for it. Shortly after that CBS informed PopTarts that there were still plenty of slots open for ad submissions.

Where is the problem? What is so offensive about homosexuality? How does the sexual orientation of someone else affect you in the slightest way? It doesn’t. It can’t.

Argh. I’m sorry…I’m too angry to really organize my thoughts more on this. I’m just running on rage. It really saddens me that we live in a time where this shit still happens. I’m calling bullshit on you CBS.

The Best Sandwich In The World

Posted in Uncategorized on January 27, 2010 by moegreeb

I’m not sure what fueled this madness…but the end result was genius. The process is simple. Go to KFC, order yourself a bucket of chicken, some fries and a tub of gravy. Take the bucket and stick it in the fridge. It will be better tomorrow and you don’t want to waste the space in your stomach that you could be filling with the fried and gravy.

Take the gravy and dump it on the fries and that is your supper. After you pass out and wake up sometime the next afternoon, go and grab the chicken from the fridge. Take a couple of pieces of bread, throw some cheese on it. I prefer to use a garlic cheddar cheese, myself but any cheese will do (ok…not ANY cheese if you start screwing around with blue cheese or Brie then you are just trying to be difficult and I can’t be bothered with you). Next rip some chicken off of the bone and slap that down in the sandwich. Don’t you dare discard that skin either. That bad boy is going in the sandwich as well. Here is the most important step. Mayonnaise. Now if you have a jar Miracle Whip take that jar and throw it the fuck out. That is not mayo and if you buy Miracle Whip you are probably an asshole.

Once the mayo is properly slathered on, add the second piece of bread and throw that into a counter top grill. DO NOT add the mayo after grilling the sandwich. The mayo must be heated by the grill and it also acts as a handy adhesive to keep the whole sandwich together once removed from the grill.

This might be a good time to warn your doctor that he might want to start scheduling an angioplast procedure to clear out your arteries. Do not engage in any sort of physical activity for at least 3-4 hours after consuming this sandwich. This will also void most insurance policies.